5 Clever Ways to Spot Lies on a Dating Profile

When you’re too busy to go out or tired of your local dating scene, online dating can be the perfect change of pace. We live in a digital world, so it makes sense that we’re starting to date in one, too. Having navigated our fair share of cheesy pick-up lines and bad dates, I know from experience that online dating can be just as complicated as dating IRL. With dating apps like Dream Singles, OKCupid, and Russians Dating Online, connecting with someone online is more convenient and complicated than ever. Below we’ve compiled 5 clever ways to spot lies on a dating profile, because online dating scams are everywhere so it’s important to stay informed. 

1. They Barely Fill Out their Profile

An online profile creates a quick and easy place to highlight splices of someone’s life and personality. You can display your hobbies, interests, and pastimes if you want to.

While judgment can be an unfortunate result of the quick swipe-left-or-swipe-right decision, try to look at what they are choosing to highlight about their personality through their profile picture. Are they showing off that they can rock a keg stand or that they traveled to Fiji and swam with stingrays? We’re not saying you should automatically assume it’s a scam if their online dating profile isn’t exactly well-rounded, but you can use their profile as a tool to determine if you have anything in common or if something beyond their looks intrigues you.

2. They Use Raunchy Pick-Up Lines

If you look at Tinder Nightmares, you’ll entertain yourself for hours reading through many people’s failed attempts to grab someone’s attention with a raunchy or peculiar pick-up line. Although this is entertaining for us, it’s not as entertaining if you’re the one receiving the uncomfortable and violating messages from online trolls and scam artists.

How someone initiates a conversation with you will say a lot about how they view you as a person and how they might treat you as a partner. Did they comment on your body in a sexual manner or did they ask you what breed your cute dog is in your picture? You may get your fair share of cheesy pick-up lines, some can be endearing and charming while others can be crude and demeaning. Humor can be a wonderful icebreaker, but also remember you are worth more than a lame pick up line. Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to do so.

3. They Are Controlling

After the initial ice breaker conversation, what does the rest of the online chat look like? It’s always a good idea to test the waters before agreeing to meet this person. Your first few online conversations with someone new should be easy going. If someone is coming on really strong right away, or they pressure you to meet in person before you’re ready, feel free to pump the breaks and set some boundaries. If they don’t respect those boundaries, then they aren’t respecting you and it’s likely a scam.

Additionally, if someone is giving you a checklist right away of all of the things they want in a future partner, this may be a red flag. It’s one thing if they express their non-negotiables but it’s another thing entirely if they are listing required traits. In a healthy relationship, you should feel free to be you. If you feel like someone is already trying to change things about you to suit their needs, that’s not okay.

4. They Are Mysterious

Online dating leaves a lot up to mystery, which can be alluring and exciting to some but may also be a warning sign that you’re not getting the whole truth.

My friend agreed to go out with someone he met on AnastasiaDate and they had a really great time together. They got dinner and talked for hours, and it was overall a very nice date. He was excited to see her again and she seemed just as excited. They made plans to go out again, but she canceled at the last minute, saying her cat had died. After giving him some time to cope with her cat passing away, she made plans to see him again and he was thrilled. She canceled the date last minute again because she said his grandma had died. Although this seemed too tragic to be true, he gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was telling the truth. She disappeared for a couple of weeks.

When he finally reached out again, she agreed to go out with him and they had yet another wonderful date. At the end of the date, they took a taxi back to his apartment. As my friend stepped out of the cab, a guy walked up to him shouting. Surprised and confused, my friend asked him what was going on. It turns out this guy was the boyfriend of the Russian girl my friend was currently on a date with.

Looking back more closely at their conversations, it seemed more and more obvious that the signs of her lying and manipulating were there all along. She would only text at certain times of the day, she would disappear for days on end, and used excuse after excuse to delay each date to assure her boyfriend would not be around. Moral of the story: mystery can be fun but it can also be a sign that someone is hiding something. Trust your instincts if your gut is telling you it’s a scam, and more importantly, stay away from AnastasiaDate. 

5. They Are Demanding

First dates with someone you’ve met online are basically blind dates. You don’t really know if this person is who they say they are until you’ve met in person. This is why having a date in a public place not only keeps you safe but gives you an out in case you aren’t really feeling it.

First impressions can be revealing. You can really get to know a lot about someone on a first date, and it’s actually possible to detect some red flags for unhealthy behaviors even in the very beginning. One example is if they are making demands early on, maybe to meet or hang out at their place rather than go out somewhere together. Another example could be if they expect you to change your schedule just to accommodate theirs, or to cancel existing plans to meet them. These types of behaviors can be the beginning of other controlling behaviors. First dates should be exciting and flirtatious. It’s about those thrilling moments of connection and chemistry that keep you smiling all day long. This person should make you feel special, respected, and valued. If there’s even a hint of controlling, possessive, disrespectful or otherwise unhealthy behaviors, it’s likely that is not going to go away or is likely an online scam. When all else fails, try this 3-step strategy when dating online and keep this list of 5 clever ways to spot lies on a dating profile bookmarked for future encounters.