Let’s face it, one of the most difficult aspects of divorce is dealing with holidays. For newly single dads, Father’s Day can be especially tough. Many dads don’t have primary custody of their children, but adjusting to holidays as a single dad doesn’t have to be difficult. It helps to have the right mindset and free yourself from any negative emotional baggage, at least for one day. It’s also important to remember that the day is about you and your children, not ongoing disputes with your ex. Here are 4 ways to handle Father’s Day as a single dad.
Let it go.
Yes, you may have some very legitimate bad feelings about your split. If you’re paying child support for a divorce you didn’t initiate, you may be bitter, and justifiably so. However, remember that your children are innocent bystanders in the ordeal. Try to clear your mind of the emotional baggage so you can focus on what’s most important – quality time with your children.
We can’t stress this enough: divorce with children is much easier when there’s open communication between parents. That doesn’t mean you have to be best friends. It simply means that much stress will be lifted if you and your ex can have a civil conversation with one another.
- Plan ahead by discussing Father’s Day with your ex.
- Be clear, but not confrontational, about what you’d like to do and how much time you’d like to have with the kids.
- If she has issues with your plans, listen to them respectfully and try to find a compromise solution.
Have a plan.
Again, the focus should be on enjoying the day with your children. With that in mind, take some time to plan the day. Find a fun activity that the kids will look forward to. Also, make sure you have all the logistics down. You may need to plan for naps and eating schedules. If your kids are younger, you should make sure you have a full supply of diapers for all of your fun activities.
While Father’s Day is supposed to be fun, it can turn stressful pretty quick. As you know, children are unpredictable. If you are happy, positive, and stress-free, expect your children to have a similar outlook. However, if the pressure of the day has you stressed out, your kids could become stressed, too. Taking the time to plan your day will help reduce your stress and make the day more enjoyable for everyone.
Embrace technology.
If you and your kids don’t live in the same city, you may not be able to see each other. While that’s unfortunate, it doesn’t mean that you can’t share some time together on Father’s Day. Many fathers use Skype to chat with their children online. As long as you each have a computer with a webcam, it’s very simple to use.
For an extra fun activity, try using Skype’s “Share Screen” feature. You have to have a premium account to do it, but it allows you and your kids to watch anything that’s playable on your computer. So you could watch a sporting event online or a movie on Netflix with your children and have the ability to chat as you do so. It’s not quite the same as being together, but it’s better than simply talking on the phone.
Set a good example on Mother’s Day.
Want more cooperation from your ex on Father’s Day? Start by setting a good example on Mother’s Day. To help get you started, Is Dream Singles a Scam came up with 7 gifts for mom that don’t cost money. If you acknowledge the importance of that holiday and help to make it enjoyable for your kids and your ex, you’re likely to see more flexibility and cooperation a month later on Father’s Day.
Getting through the holidays as a single dad comes with its challenges, but you can make it easier with a good attitude and some advanced planning. Remember, it’s your day. Focus on you and your kids and you should have a fun and memorable time together and be able to handle Father’s Day as a single dad.
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